In my father's eyes

Sometimes it’s the oddest things that can remind you of a loved one, a song, a person, a place. For me it’s the sound of a train whistle or a motorcycle revving, the scent of a cigar or burgers cooking on the grill that bring back memories of my father.

I arrived at Eggers the day before what would have been my dad’s 59th birthday, so he was on my mind a lot during my first few weeks here. While I still think of him constantly, the pace of work soon distracted me, as it did during my first deployment to Afghanistan, during which my dad passed, and at the time I was grateful for return to the deployment tempo. So the other day, I was a little surprised to find myself thinking about my dad while flying down to Helmand province with my boss and his staff. I was in full work mode, writing notes and thinking about what I would try to get photos of, while listening to my boss talk to his staff about the day ahead, and I was reminded so much of my father. They don’t look alike, and while he served in the Navy, my dad was nowhere near the rank of general, but all the same, my dad had a similar commanding presence of my current boss.

My dad was a tall, broad-shouldered man with red hair and large features. When I was young, he was a giant and when I was older he was the man I most wanted to impress, with my accomplishments in school and then in the Air Force. I know he wasn’t perfect, and he had his flaws, but people gravitated toward him. He had a way of making people feel comfortable, to tease them and joke and tell stories until you were on the floor laughing, barely able to breathe. His self-deprecating humor and story-telling ability are things I miss almost constantly.

But even more, I miss something I took for granted when I was young: the opportunity just to talk to him, to get his advice and perspective. I found as I grow older myself (and supposedly more wiser) I valued the inputs my father had on my life more and more, and I wish I could still have him in my life, to talk with him, to bounce ideas off him and to just have him listen and be there.

I wonder what he would think about the decisions I’ve made and how my life has changed in the two years he’s been gone - getting stationed in California, getting divorced, starting my master’s program, running my first marathon - and what he would think about my being in Afghanistan again.

All I know is as I sat on that plane, I was overcome by a longing so fierce for my father, that I had to fight back tears. It took me a long time to be able to talk about my dad without crying and even longer to look at his pictures. It’s been two years since we lost my dad, and while the pain lessens over time, I miss his presence in my life every day.

A hero’s heart

I’m the type of person who finds it hard to sit back and watch, especially when it comes to showing someone how to do something. My friend Nestor can attest to that - when I was training him on design and layout at his first public affairs position, I was not the most patient of instructors, often pushing him aside so I can finish pages faster. I'm sort of like the parent who completely takes over their kid’s science project, because, obviously, I can make the volcano bigger, better, cooler.

So I understood completely when Dr. Lorn Heyne, an Air Force colonel in charge of a medical advisory team at the Afghan National Army hospital at Camp Hero, Kandahar, told me that his team was trying very hard to step back and let the Afghan medical staff take charge.

“We, as American’s, have an inherent desire to do, we want to get in there but we made a conscious decision and effort to have them do it so they could arrive at the right decision and course of action themselves,” he told me.

For the last eight months or so, Colonel Heyne and his embedded medical team has been mentoring the ANA doctors and nurses at the military hospital, with great success. The hospital mortality rate has declined 20 percent and they’ve doubled the number of doctors on staff; no easy feat in itself when staffing is one of the biggest challenges the hospital faces. Kandahar is a dangerous area, and professionally-educated people aren’t exactly jumping at the bit to work there.

But despite the obstacles – lack of qualified personnel, supply issues, inexperienced staff and security concerns, the hospital and its staff are doing amazing things. They’ve created a medical library, host a weekly women and children’s clinic, and have an emergency system in place including inbound patient communication systems and ambulances, and an intensive care ward, which they beefed up in preparation for Operation Moshatrak – their ICU is a source of pride for the hospital staff. On a visit to the hospital, the ANA deputy surgeon general said it was the best ICU capability he’s seen out of the other military hospitals.

There are three other regional ANA hospitals, and the 400-bed national military hospital here in Kabul, all doing their best to create a nationwide military medical system. It’s hard to see the big picture in Afghanistan sometimes, about what we’re doing here and even harder to see the results of all the time, money and energy we’re putting into this country. But when I toured the Kandahar hospital and saw the dedication of the staff, the pride in what they’ve been able to accomplish and where they hope to go, it definitely fills in the gaps. Two years ago, a suicide bomber attacked Kandahar City, killing 100 people and injuring 67; 47 of those wounded were taken to the Kandahar regional military hospital. For two days, they worked non-stop and in the end, they managed to save all but one patient.

The list of accomplishments is remarkable, but what was most impressive to me was the professionalism of the Afghan medical staff. These are people who were either left Afghanistan during the fighting to continue their education or practicing medicine, and have come back to care for their people. Col. Aelaj Basir, the hospital commander, is determined to follow his physician’s code of ethics and insists on treating everyone – civilians, Afghan National Army and Afghan National Police, who are infamous for their rivalry, and even Taliban patients – with equal care. He believes that all patients are human beings and deserve the same care and treatment.

And it is that belief more than anything that will help the Afghan people to have faith and trust in their government and leaders – I’m sure the Taliban isn’t offering their IED or bomb victims medical care.

Family reunion

It’s a small Air Force … that’s a pretty common phrase used in the Air Force to explain how you can run into the friends and previous co-workers when you least expect it. I guess the same can hold true for any branch of the military. I have several relatives serving in the Air Force and Army but the last place I expected to run into one of them was in Afghanistan, but yesterday my cousin Haley, whom I hadn’t seen since 2003 (when we both enlisted; her in the Army National Guard, me in the active-duty Air Force) met up at Camp Eggers, Kabul.

When I left for this deployment I had hoped I would have the opportunity to see her; her unit deployed in August so I knew we’d be in Afghanistan at the same time, but initially she was stationed at a Forward Operating Base in the south. When we found out she’d be moving up to Kabul and I got really excited. Then Thursday afternoon, I got a phone call at the office; my co-worker answered, and with a confused look on his face, he came in and said there was a girl on the phone and she was saying she was my cousin. We chatted and Haley told me she would be at Eggers the next day so I was super excited to see her.

The last time we met was the summer before I left for basic training; we were at my Aunt Lorraine’s house in New York and Haley was young, only 18. I wasn't sure what to expect six years later, but when she showed up at my office I was blown away. Now, she’s 24, all grown up, beautiful and totally in love. She possesses much more poise and confidence than I did at that age, and probably more than I do at almost 29. We had a great time laughing, catching up and sharing stories. Haley is a Brown, through and through.

She goes on leave soon, and I hope that her time in Europe is amazing and everything she hopes for. But most of all, I’m excited to have a cousin, whom I hardly get to see, here in Afghanistan so we can re-connect. I think she’s most excited about the fact that I promised to get her a mattress pad at the BX. That’s what big cousins are for!

The journey begins ....

From the beginning, I knew that this deployment would be an interesting experience. Things were rapidly evolving in Afghanistan, from leadershipto organization, and the information being passed on was changing daily. From the time I received my initial deployment notification in September until the time I actually landed at Manas Air Base, Kyrgyzstan, in January, the transition hub for Afghanistan deployers, my deployment had changed five times. Although this was my second time to Afghanistan, and my second JET or in-lieu of tasking, I knew things would be much different than the first time around.

Upon landing at Bagram Air Base our group of about 20 Public Affairs personnel learned there was a flight leaving for Kabul International Airport in less than 12 hours. We were determined to be on the flight; having spent several days in Manas waiting on our luggage to arrive, two days getting from Norfolk to Manas and five weeks at Combat Skills Training in Ft. Dix, N.J. the, "Are we there yet?" feeling was running high. Since the flight show time was relatively close to our arrival time, we were given the direction to stay close by the passenger terminal, so our options included the dining facility, the USO and transient restroom facilities. Already sleep deprived, some decided to just hit the coffee pot and stay up all night, while others curled up wherever there was a space - on benches, chairs and floors. I was somewhere in between. I went for food, used the morale computers to send a few e-mails and decided to take a shower. During my previous deployment and from this travel experience, I learned it was always best to eat and take a shower whenever the opportunity presented itself as you never knew when your next chance would be. Slightly refreshed, I sat down to watch a movie and promptly fell asleep.

That two hours of sleep got me through the next day of travel to Kabul International Airport, Camp Phoenix and then, finally, to Camp Eggers. Another Air Force public affairs member was traveling with me, and as the Army convoy carrying us and our combined 14 bags of luggage dropped us off at the gates of Camp Eggers, we just looked at each other and laughed. It was just getting dark, we didn't know where we were or how we were going to get in touch with our points of contact, move our gear or find a place to sleep forthe night. It was one of those classic "so there we were" moments.

Luckily, the gate guards let us call the PA shop, who promptly showed up with enough people to carry our luggage to the office. It was a whirlwind of movement and within two hours, we'd had dinner, picked up our inprocessing paperwork, got assigned a room and were shown around the camp. My travel partner and I both were lucky enough to get a room in the brand new lodging, complete with a real door and indoor bathrooms. For those military folks who've had to get dressed and walk through the freezing cold in the middle of the night to get to the bathrooms, all the while cursing the fact that you drank water after 7 p.m., you understand how glorious this is.

Understandably, my co-workers who had to live in transient tents for weeks were a little jealous. I had been forwarned that living space was tight so I was prepared for the possibility of tent living but it was just the luck of the draw. So, on day two of my stay at Camp Eggers, I'm beginning to learn the ropes of a joint NATO Training Mission and our role here in Kabul. For me, our mission here is a new concept in military journalism; instead of covering the U.S. military and our efforts in Afghanistan, we highlight the progress the Afghan's are making in learning to govern and discipline themselves and their development as a nation. Both are vital topics, and so while my official capacity is to focus on Afghanistan, I hope to use this forum as a way to share what our team of 20 plus photographers, broadcasters and journalists are doing here, along with those serving with us in Afghanistan and Iraq. What we do, as media professionals, is important, but even more so are the efforts of our fellow military members.